At the moment, I can't even think of a title for this posting. My uncle died last week, and he was buried today. He was only 68.

I will always remember with an inward giggle the time he took me to a car auction some eighty miles away. He sold the vehicle we went there in, but I bought a car and his friend bought a car, a truck, and a child's 4-wheeler. We started home. My car was the first to conk out. Then a few miles later, the truck. We got into the old car of our last hope and willed it to make it so we wouldn't be piled up on a tiny 4-wheeler racing down the interstate.

He was an adventurer. I'm sure if he had lived in the time and place of safaris, he would have been right out there amongst them, having a grand old time. That's the way I see and remember him. I remember hiking up mountains and through woods and exploring caves with him. I remember him taking us to places where American Indians had painted lasting tributes on the rock. I remember being in a glass-bottomed submarine with him after an exciting halfway-across-the country trip to Disneyworld. I remember him calling us all out to the lake many, many weekends where we would swim and ski behind his boat. I see him, healthy and laughing and smiling, always having a ball. I see him in that blue and white boat skimming the waves.

He was a fine friend, a wonderful uncle. Everyone who knew him remembers the smile and the cup of coffee. He was an adventurer. To Uncle Rex, may this be your grandest adventure yet.

Movie Magic

If you're just getting started with your screenwriting, you might be looking around for screenwriting software. The two biggies out there are Final Draft and Movie Magic Screenwriter. I use Movie Magic and I really like it. I was not paid by Movie Magic to say that (I wish).

Most of the contests, production companies, agents, etc., will ask for your screenplay in either Final Draft or Movie Magic format, so it is probably a good idea to invest in one if you're really serious about trying to write movies. I know they can be a chunk of change for some people, but try putting a little aside each week or each month if you have to. It's really worth it. Not only will you be on the same wavelength as the people you are trying to sell your masterpiece to, it will just make things soooo much easier on you as you're writing it.

These programs are very user-friendly and basically take away all the time-consuming tasks of correct formatting. You do NOT want to ever, ever, ever send anything out incorrectly formatted. And I have tried to do the formatting myself. If you are computer savvy and good at setting up macros and that sort of thing, you might be able to pull it off. I found a website one time that gave instructions. But I don't recommend it. You can also do a search on free screenwriting software and come up with several. Research them carefully. Some of them have features like being able to convert to .pdf or upload to Final Draft or Movie Magic. You would definitely want features like that. Do searches on reviews of these products, not just the freebies, but the paid ones, too. You'll get all kinds of insight into what will work best for you.

If you're ready to shop for Movie Magic Screenwriter, again, do some research. Check around. Don't forget to check places like E-bay or Craigslist. I bought mine off a store on E-bay for a pretty decent price, new, and it came with a 10%-off coupon for Scriptshark as well as lots of other goodies. If you're a student or a teacher, there's the academic version which will come cheaper than the regular version, by around $50-$70 or so. Don't fret; it is no different than the regular version.

job search

Not only am I searching for a payday on a screenplay, I'm searching for a payday, period. I need a job. I have applied everywhere for just about every kind of job there is. I've applied for jobs ranging from teacher to the person who measures property in order to assess taxes.

I realize there are whole lot of jobless people out there right now. I, myself, know many who have been laid off due to this crappy economy and all the shutdowns it has brought with it. I was a victim, too. But you are eligible for unemployment if you lost your job through no fault of your own, and quite often during my days of receiving benefits, there were extensions because the government realized it is just taking much longer for people to find jobs in this worker-flooded market. Talk to your unemployment agency. Find out about all the various programs out there because believe me, there are many. I was on one called TAA or TRA which was a program to help people who lost their jobs due to foreign competition. There are programs that will help with your food bills, your mileage, your education expenses. Start researching and asking lots of questions. Send me your questions and if I can help, I certainly will.

In the meantime, try not to get discouraged by how long it takes to land another job. It can take days, weeks, or months. I sent an application to a company on January 6 and was called for an interview on January 20. Some will call to do a short phone interview, and then it may be days or weeks later when they call for an in-person interview. I know it's hard, and I know it's discouraging and scary and depressing. But you're not alone.

Turning a corner?

Well, here we are, inauguration day. As we all know, it's not your typical one either. The country has made an historic choice for president, the first non-white, and when you put that together with the fact that a woman also came pretty close, this has been a record breaker. Americans have pinned a tremendous amount of hope and expectations on Obama, and as one of those many, many unemployed, I have to say I'm hopeful.

I went on another interview today. I've had two phone interviews and three in-person interviews. Things seemed to have gone well, but I thought that after the first one, and they gave the job to somebody else, so I'm just keeping my happy thoughts squashed at the moment. They must lie dormant and still, quiet, shhhh, because they get upset when things don't go as they think things should.

At the moment, the only income I have is whatever substitute teaching I can snag. The school district uses Aesop, this online system that throws the teacher absences out there in the ring and then laughs in delight as it watches all the hungry subs fling themselves upon it, trying to be the first to grab it up. It's a fierce, uncaring system.

Plans for tonight: corndogs for supper, revising on a screenplay I want to send to Scriptshark, and another resume for another job posting. Plus my son mentioned that he would like to watch A Series of Unfortunate Events, so I may be spending some time with the ever-hopeful Baudelaires.

linkage to the bloggage

i'm trying to get some traffic around here. i've been submitting the link to various sites in the electronic form of waving my arms from a tiny, remote island and yelling, "over here!" daffy duck style. it seems that at least part of the secret is keywords. i need keywords, man, lots of keywords, so that when somebody googles, they'll plop right on my page (that sounded gross). so here we go:

screenwriting, screenwriting, screenwriting, screenwriter, screenwriter, screenplay, screenplays, script, script, script, producers, lookatmelookatmelookatme, directors, searching for a job, jobsearch, out of work, need a job, sell a screenplay, writer, writer, writer for hire, need to eat.

okay, enough of that for now. maybe we'll try again tomorrow with some new words. and if you've got some to suggest for the list, feel free to send them right along.

where am i going

i have been having such a feeling of "where am i going?" for so long. it isn't just because of being laid off from a job i had for 12.5 years. i was feeling it while i worked there, too. i want so much for the answers to fall out of the sky so i can say, "oh, that's what i'm supposed to do." but it never happens. i even look other places besides the sky, and they give me no answers either. google for instance. i keep hoping i can type in my life questions and maybe someone, God, an angel, someone, will cause the answer to come up when i hit search. all i ever find are blogs by other people like me asking the same questions, probably hoping that God or an angel will post a reply.

i know the feelings have intensified lately because of money worries. unemployment ran out; they only paid as long as i was going to school, then i was expected to graduate and instantaneously find a job. i've been out since december 10 and no job yet. i suspect it's probably pretty much the same old, same old: "you're overqualified," which boils down to, "you're overeducated." it is so laughable how we are pushed to get more and more and more education, but then it blows up in our faces.

i'll let you in on a secret. i got my degree in education, and i got it in flying colors, but ... i don't want to teach. i've been thinking it, but i haven't said it to anyone. my family is so dead set on me being a teacher, and they are so out of sorts that i'm even looking around at other jobs. they try to comfort themselves (in the guise of comforting me) that it will only be until a teaching job opens up. i cannot stand the thought of being caged in a classroom all day, day after day. fuck, i hated it when i was student. i don't want to be imprisoned by unbending schedules and frowning, judgmental administrators. i've been out there amongst the teachers. i've interned and i've subbed. i see the same frustration in them, and i hear it out of their own mouths. i don't want it.

i remember talking to my sister about this sort of thing back when i was first laid off. she talked about people doing things out of fear instead of doing it because they really wanted to. people take crappy jobs that they are unhappy with because they are in fear. and the people around them fear, too. they fear for their loved one's well being, and they fear that this person will stop fitting the neat, round peghole they have so carefully carved out for them. they want that person to stay the same and stay predictable and stay someone they can understand.

i feel my skin being scraped and irritated as they try to push me into that hole that is shaped nothing like me.

everytime i think i'm out ...

i graduated, but that doesn't mean i'm out of school. i've been substituting since there were no full-time positions available, and it has been ... tiring. i've had some phone calls and two interviews for some other jobs that are not education related. my family thinks i'm nuts to even be considering other jobs, but they don't seem to have a good, strong grasp of the sitch. so here it is; here's the sitch: i have to have money. i do not get steady work with substituting. the work will pretty much blow entirely away in the summer. i cannot sit around for two years or so until something opens up (i've seen it).

so, i'm possibly going to be putting together a couple of part-times, or maybe i'll hear back from one of the full-times. i've also been looking at working online and building a tiny little empire of proofreading, tutoring, and writing. i pretty much am just paddling around in desperation, hoping to find something to keep me afloat, both financially and spiritually.