break

I've decided I need a little break from all this. I spend hours upon hours each day searching the internet for places to submit. I e-mail people. I write. I read articles. I try and try and try and try. Literally until my eyes burn from staring at the screen. They even sometimes continue to burn after I go to bed. I read some stuff that gives me a little hope. And then I read a string of stuff that tries to squash it and tells me I am wasting so much time. I come across something that I think might be helpful, a place that might help me, and then I read somewhere else they are a scam. I ask for help in telling me who are the scammers, and I get some answers, but I know I need more and more and more and more. I get to points like today where the tears are standing in my eyes, and I am so tired. I know I need to back away at least for a day or two. I'm just so tired of not knowing where my life is going, and what I'm supposed to do. Am I really a writer? Am I supposed to be one? Am I fated to make a living from doing what I love, or will I be stuck forever just doing what pays the bills?

The only sense of peace I get today is from watching my cats relaxing in the open window in front of me, napping and washing and sniffing the air. I hear birds out there and the sun is shining. So I guess I need to get out there and start that break that I think I need.