saddle up

i know - you've been worried about me, right? you've been frantically checking back every day, every hour, hoping to see another posting to confirm that i didn't commit suicide. calm down. it was just a little sidetrack breakdown. just a little puddle of tears left on the road of this journey. just a moment of me shaking my fists at the sky scarlett-style. everyone has to stop once in awhile and blow out the filters, get the crud out, shake off the dust of rejection, cry out the accumulation of negativity.

i'm fine, back in the saddle. still haven't heard anything earth-shattering, but the day's not over. really the next thing i'm looking forward to are the announcements from page international about their quarter-finalists. that should be in about two weeks or so, and if i make it, just another little sumpin sumpin to help keep the spirits up, as well as to add to the resume.

i do realize that certain words in sentences are supposed to be capitalized, for instance, the first word. i just feel like this is an informal thing so why go to the trouble of all that shifting? it's just you and me, right?

it's raining here today which is keeping the satellite from working. not that i care. it's been very nice to just have a quiet day, listen to the rain and the thunder.

i checked on the meaning of "synchronicity" last night because i feel like sometimes i'm experiencing some of it myself. i guess i understand the basics of it, but apparently there are whole books written on it and it can get deep. now i am a pretty intelligent person, and my reading comprehension is relatively high-level, but shit, take a look at this from wikipedia: "The idea of synchronicity is that the conceptual relationship of minds, defined by the relationship between ideas, is intricately structured in its own logical way and gives rise to relationships which have nothing to do with causal relationships in which a cause precedes an effect. Instead, causal relationships are understood as simultaneous — that is, the cause and effect occur at the same time." And this: "According to Occam's razor, positing an underlying mechanism for meaningfully interpreted correlations is an unsupported explanation for a "meaningful coincidence" if the correlations may alternatively be explained by simple coincidence." WTF? i am an english major and i have this major feeling of whooshing air above my head. i have to read these very slowly with a thesaurus and a dictionary while attempting to diagram them at the same time so that i can hopefully at least identify the root sentence. this is WIKIPEDIA, the everyman's encyclopedia. but apparently the posters there grew weary of everyman and booted his ass out in favor of nasa's elite.